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What Is It With All These Divorces Abroad?

Submitted by mwakilishi on Tue, 04/04/2017 - 21:13

I will say this as blunt as possible, mwenda kumena mumene!  What is it this with all these divorces going around?

The last time I checked, the Good Book says, whatever God has put together, no man should put asunder. But we have come to a point where if one partner gets to earn a little more than the other, matako inaanza kulia bwata!

This is especially so with all these RNs, both men and women. As soon as they do the walk, or the board exam, they start finding small faults in their partners. Mara eehh! This is my money. Mara eeh! I cannot  continue living in an apartment. Mara eeh! Why are you on Facebook all the time? Mara eeh! You cant even afford an iPhone 7s… the list goes on.

Guys are separating over very trivial issues. From disagreement over what size of TV to buy to what TV channels to watch in the house. Others are divorcing due to disagreements over the type of car to buy, or the side of bed one should sleep. C’mon guys! Agree to disagree but fight for your families.

I am tired of kusikia guys who have been married for the longest time, but when the woman goes to the gym and finds a handsome Haitian man, she starts salivating and talking about Kikuyu men and their beer bellies. Before long, the Haitian gym instructor becomes a lover and before you know it, mama anatoroka. Two years down the line, the handsome Haitian man finds another yellow yellow from Igboland.

I know of a guy in these United States who, after graduating with an LPN decided that his CNA wife was not good enough for him. The same girl had to sacrifice her own dream to give birth to their three kids in a span of five years. Mtu anakuzalia mama na baba yako then unajifanya kalulu? Kubaff wewe.

When I was growing up, our parents’ generation stayed in marriage forever. Sometimes as children we would mistake a husband and wife to sister and brother. Their longevity in marriage made them look alike; they acquired similar manner of speech, walk, facial expressions, could finish each other’s sentences, and the like. Not that there were no issues, but they stuck together and brought up their 14 children. Yes 14! All got educated and are now successful in their fields. Wewe una watoto wawili na unalia kama senge.

Jameni let us also show the children we are bringing up that there is hope in marriage. That communication is key to a relationship. Do not start opening secret bank accounts in Kenya. Do not start buying pieces of land in Kenya secretly.  Now that you have reconnected with your college lover on Facebook, do not let her break your family; there’s a reason she is still single at 36. That your high school hunk would kill to get hold of your dollars. There’s a reason he is still a gigolo in Nairobi.

By Wa Kiuru | wa.kiuru@yahoo.com

Comments

There you go again Wa kiuru.There is no evidence in my opinion that marriages are made in heaven,or the way you put it,"whatever God has put together no man should put a sunder..." Marriage is a personal choice and God has no input in it despite what the good book says. If you chose the wrong woman,or man, you catch hell. Marriage is a gamble. Sometimes you win,and sometimes you loose. To throw a wrench in to the works, social scientists tell us that both sexes,men and women are not designed for monogamy.( we sturdy these things for a reason)
We cannot adhere to the notion of marriage that existed 50-100 years ago that served our fathers,grand fathers ...etc-well.The social climate was totally different from today's.For example man/husband made all the rules.And most social rules and rituals usually favored the man/husband.
Yes, the good book also says that"...the two become one..." those are just words. In reality,which we live in, that is hard to do. How can two different people become one? Again social scientists,and marriage experts tell us that,even though you are marriage, you should still maintain your on individuality,and that you are responsible for your own happiness. Such advise I venture to say way hardy passed on to our fore fathers by their social scientists at the time:)
The bottom line is this Wa kiuru, in today's world, if one is not happy in the institution of marriage,they can" nullify" that institution No point living is misery-is there? Of course I say this after all efforts to stabilized the institution have failed.Happiness is bigger part of
what people are seeking in this institution.And you can take this to the bank"If you and your spouse are not equal partners in this union.." you are doomed to fail.
Careful when you quote the good book.The hubby is no longer the head of the house.He is just a member.Times have changed, stop clinging to the relics.Yes habits die hard,but when time comes to change them we should,otherwise we continue to be frustrated to say the least.
Finally, it also pays to look at other books. There are many good books out there.Books that go with the times.

Some of the reasons our mothers & grandmothers stayed in unhappy marriage are: (1). they were told dowry is non-refundable (2). their parents told them never to go back (3). women were told bibi ni kuvumilia (4). they did not have good education - ignorance (5). women did not have any source of income (6) kuchapa bibi was part of the culture they did not see it as an abuse

(5) above is what empowerment is about and means a lot to a woman and her family. A woman without an income = a woman without a voice... or so in our culture; which is sad since her contribution of home-making is a huge 'income'.

But some women just cannot do without that 'ring'.....hata wachapwe...wadharauliwe in all ways possible...'my husband' ..... sielewi!

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